Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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