I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
