Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize