i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
