i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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