My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
