It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
