try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
