I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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