***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
