PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think your dad took our porno
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
