Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize