Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
