ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
