Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
