You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
