what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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