do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
