I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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