He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
