So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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