Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
