I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
