Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I need water and some morals
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
