Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
