Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My vagina is officially offended.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
