Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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