....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
