Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
