my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
