You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
