4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
