Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
