ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
