we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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