I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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