you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
