can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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