If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think your dad took our porno
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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