We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
