also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
