Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
