whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
