i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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