Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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