Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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