Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
