His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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