everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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