they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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