Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
