I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
