We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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