You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I bet he comes in French.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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