WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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