I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
