Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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