I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
