I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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