nut hugger
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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