Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize