im gay
i know
yea but for you.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
