She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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