you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
3pm strippers are depressing
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
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