I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
